Model me this.

I will be completely honest and admit that trying out modelling has crossed my mind a number of times.

I don't think I'm exquisite enough to be one, but when I've had a rather large number of modelling agencies and hairdressers scout me in the streets of Tokyo (and Hokkaido, actually) since I was 19 it has made me wonder (The other 20% of those scouts have been whether I would be interested in "Night work". Yes.) Plus, some people, shop owners, and random people on the street ask me if I am model (Though mostly more in Japan, while the other 40% of Japanese people ask me if I play volleyball or some kind of Sports).

I remember when I had a personal photo-shoot which my friend gave to me as a Birthday present about 4 years ago back in England, and the photographer told me I was a "natural". She said that I was very photogenic, and that if I was interested, I should seriously consider it. The manager of the company (?) who edited my photos and showed me the results liked my pictures so much that, when I was planning on buying only 2 photos, gave me a huge discount so I could take more of the photos home with me.

Do I sound big-headed yet? Haha.

Snowed under. Both body & soul.

I have been pretty unhappy recently.

I'm generally a positive person all round and hardly ever get depressed, but these past few months have taken the last straw. In general, it's mostly little things which I've tried to ignore but they've built up inside me and I can longer hold it in. I think I'm starting to break down.

Of all the issues, my main problem is that I'm unhappy at work. I'm unhappy with some of the content of my job, but mostly with the workplace. I think it may have to do with me being "too British" and being unable to adapt to the Japanese work environment, but I think it also has to do with the current situation of my workplace in particular. I don't dislike my co-workers and think they are generally nice people, but when it comes to working with them, I hate it. I feel no support from them in terms of my job, and all they seem to do is pick at all the mistakes I do, which I of course understand, but they even tell me off for things I don't think I'm doing wrong. I'm not fishing for compliments, and I'm aware that they perhaps don't praise as much in Japan as they do in Western societies, but they don't even comment on the effort I put it when I'm actually quite proud of some of things I come up with. In fact, though my co-workers in my section don't say a thing, other workers in the office in different sections praise me instead! But what good is it if the people who work with you don't appreciate what you do?
This has led to my motivation to drop rapidly, which I am sure, shows in the office. And I don't give a damn, to be honest.