It's a new day, it's a new dawn...but not feeling so good.

First day of the fiscal year in Japan.
New employees, transfers within the office, the coming of spring (for our parts anyway, it's already half way there in the Kanto areas where the cherry blossoms were early this year), a great time to think fresh, start anew.

I'm 25 years old and I don't know what to do with my life.

Sadly, this is no April Fool's joke.

A troop of nervous Japanese youths have been scuttling in out of our office in their shiny new suits today. A bunch of workers have been transferred to other departments, as rotations within the workplace is strangely the norm in most Japanese companies. I should have tallied up the number of times I bowed in greeting.

For the Japanese in my workplace, this is it. The beginning for the freshly graduated new employees and a slight change for some of the current workers. But they will continue with this job for the rest of their lives. In Japan, once you're with a company, it's difficult, or at least, it seems frowned upon to drop it and consider a different career.

I on the other hand, in my current situation with my current contract, and also as the Western foreigner, have the freedom to do what I like with my life. 

Trouble is, I don't know what.

As I posted a while back, although I could technically stay for another year completing the maximum years of stay on my contract, I decided to leave due to being unhappy with my work conditions.

So, what to do when my contract ends in early August...

I want to stay in Japan. I can't give a solid reason why, but I feel like it's too soon to go back to the U.K.., something I will evidently do sooner or later. Though, having not gone back for even a visit for almost 4 years worries me in that I will find things too different and not want to go back after all.

COCO's Seafood Tomato Soup Spaghetti

I definitely want to go back to England if I ever have children.

Children. My gawd. The horror that thought even crossed my mind! But from what I've learnt and observed of the Japanese education system, I don't want my kids to grow up in a society where they're developed to be minimalists in what they can do and think. British education might not be the best in the world, but I enjoyed it to an extent and was able to develop an open mind; something that may have proved difficult in Japanese schools. 

Fair Trade Cocoa Chocolate cake & Herbal tea
(not a fan of chocolate cake usually, but this one was
moussey, had just over 100 calories & was fair trade)

I actually had a "talk about our futures" with my lovely American lady from the same apartment during a catch-up over dinner at our becoming-our-usual "COCO's" restaurant last night. It freaked me out even then that I talked about children, and I told myself off for verging dangerously on the traditional Japanese mindset of getting married and making babies in your twenties.

Speaking of the Japanese Education system, I've recently been watching an old-ish Japanese dorama called 'Dragon Zakura'. I'd seen the first few episodes a while back, and it was brought to my attention again as I used it in my studies for the 'Teaching Japanese as a Foreign language' course in Kanto last week. (You can view photos of some of my experiences in Kanto at my photo blog). The series covers what I think are a lot of issues within the Japanese Education system and perhaps even Japanese society, and there are some interesting approaches to teaching (the episode on teaching English made me smile). Plus, I've always liked the actor Hiroshi Abe, and his acting, plus the character himself is amazing. I haven't quite finished watching the whole series through myself, but I recommend it - I've learnt quite a bit from it, and it's provided me with a lot of food for thought.

Hmm, I'm gradually moving away from the original topic of this entry.

It shows my problem is that I procrastinate. Although I've gotten a little better over the years I'm terrible at leaving things till the last minute, plus forgetting to do things. Which is why I only have 4 months left and I still haven't a clue about my career in August.

I think I need to make a few pointers to clear my head and make specific goals;

1. Stay in Japan - going back to England in August would be a last resort
2. Stay in Hokkaido - I hate the winter and the snow, but it's bearable, and I want to stay mainly because I have friends here, there are places I like, I have a somewhat band going on, and I would hate to part with all of it so soon
3. Move to Sapporo - I'm a sucker for cities, and Sapporo has become a very special place for me especially in the last year. I think I'm likely to find more career options here too. I don't know if I could stand going back to a town/city in the middle of nowhere...
4. Find a career in interpreting/translating - but this would be very difficult, especially in finding jobs in Hokkaido. If I'm stuck for options and find better opportunities elsewhere in Japan, I may move...
5. Or find a career in teaching English - mostly because I know this would be the most available job for me, and also because I actually quite enjoy teaching

There. Now to stop panicking and to do something about it. Down to business, as they say.

Oh, and I've also not done a good job with trying to keep any of my New Year's Resolutions either, so I plan on using this "fresh mindset" opportunity to start back up on those, too.

Ironic of me to post such serious objectives on such a date, eh.

Lastly, may I present to you the magic of thick make-up, specific camera angles, and Gyaru colour contact lenses. I look like a different person! I actually sent these pictures to Moo, and she couldn't recognise me at first. Had I used false eyelashes too I would've further completed the fake-face Japanese girl look.