Review, now reset.

The number of times I've tried to "reset" myself over certain times of my life is quite amusing.

But I believe this time, I really need to start over.

After breaking a heart, having my own broken straight after, and now uncertain about what was almost a set future ahead of me, I've been rethinking about myself and my life.

Seriously, when it comes to physical ageing and society today, things don't balance out.


There was a part of me that panicked a little with a big handful of my friends tying the knot and settling down, but when I think back, until there was talk about it from the then significant other, I had never in my life ever wished for it. In the long run, it would be nice, but if anything I had a stronger desire for having kids, which is the main reason I thought, in terms of being in my late twenties, it was "now or never".


My new outlook on life?

Bollocks to that.


Stuff all the trying to dress my age, act my age, do things "my age should be doing".

When I came to Japan in my early twenties, many people said they thought I was older because I was a lot more maturer than the sissy Japanese girlies (Not all of them, but they really are young. Both in looks and attitude.)
I've noticed things have turned around recently as most of the people I meet now think I'm in my early to mid twenties. Either I've immature-d, or my skin looks fantastic. I tell myself it's the latter, though I do miss my perfect skin of my student years.

So, now I know I can pull of looking young, I've decided I still have opportunities of the younger generation too. I have decided to conquer my crazy, silly dreams that I'd pushed aside these past years.


Check it out.

• Update my wardrobe with what I want to wear - grunge, rock chic, go wild. People will probably stare and think I'm a (giant) whore but I will strut down the street in my killer heels and fishnets without a care.
• Find a band(s), do lots of gigs. Go crazy on stage, be who I really want to be.
• Be super determined at trying to lose a bit of weight and tone up.
• Try modelling as a side project, just for fun.
• Get the piercings that I'd always wanted, touch up on my tattoos.
• Hang out with friends more, make more friends.
• Go out drinking and dancing, get wasted without anyone frowning upon me, whilst not going too over the top.
• Be a camera whore on instagram and simplog, because since I've put more pictures up of my face and body, the number of followers have soared, and the compliments make me happy. I know I sound vain, but I've had and still do have issues with my appearance and body that have stopped me from many things, and  this helps my confidence.
• Continue to be inspired by beautiful people around me and online (tumblr, haha).
• Travel more, go out more, visit places I've never been.

...I sound like a whining teenager, eheh.

But I've decided to be kind to myself. I always seem to be trying to please someone, and I'm tried of it.

I may not reach all these goals, but just having them in mind is keeping me strong these days.

The rest of this year is going to be fantastic.

I aim to have reached a number of these goals by summer, my favourite season of the year.